


He's Falling

by GayRainbowBridge



Series: Frostiron Stories/Oneshots [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Tony Stark, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt Tony Stark, Language, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Major Character Injury, Not Really Character Death, Sad Ending, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Top Loki (Marvel), Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:00:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28598103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayRainbowBridge/pseuds/GayRainbowBridge
Summary: As he stared at Tony Stark, breathing softly in his sleep, Loki realised that since the void, he truly never had stopped falling. Since the moment his eyes had opened, pain wracking his body to meet those swirling golden brown eyes he had still been falling. Falling slowly. Falling hard. Falling in love. And he feels it now......he's falling.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Frostiron Stories/Oneshots [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2095008
Comments: 20
Kudos: 49





	He's Falling

**Author's Note:**

> ⚠️Warning: attempt suicide, major angst/hurt, self hate, smut, strong language, strong violence⚠️

Loki wondered how long he had been falling for.

It felt as if it had been years. Or perhaps only days? Hours? Minutes?? He didn't know. He didn't like not knowing. He valued knowledge. He valued the things important to him. The fact that he didn't know how long he'd been falling for terrified him.

The darkness of the void wrapped around him, encasing him, choking him, making it feel hard to breath. He couldn't focus his thoughts. He couldn't slow his rapid breathing. He wondered if he would spatter on impact with whatever lay below or if there even was a below. What if he just kept falling forever?

Wind whipped around him, his hair in his face. It was cold which bothered Loki. He was a Frost Giant. The cold shouldn't bother him. But it did. It seeped into his bones and froze his lungs. His fingertips felt frozen as he balled his fingers tight into fists, his arms held close to his chest in a poor attempt to stay warm. He felt like his skin was peeling back, exposing the soft vulnerable flesh beneath even though he knew it was just the feeling of the strong wind flying over his skin. But it was agony.

He had screamed multiple times but the wind quickly swept away his voice, the sound lost behind him. It wouldn't have mattered. No one would hear him scream anyway and no one would care if they did. They hadn't cared when he fell before. They hadn't cared when he let go of that staff.

Odin's whisper of 'no, Loki' echoed through his mind. Thor's yell when Loki fell overlapped Odin's voice growing louder and louder making his head pound and wanting to scream himself.

But he kept falling.

He half craved an end. Not of the falling, but of his life. It had been a poor excuse of a life, full of only torment and misery. They say it got better, with time. But it had been years and Loki was still waiting. But his patient was growing thin. He half hoped there was an end to this fall and that the impact of whatever was at that end would be enough to make him splatter and end his pain.

When he saw the approaching ground several hundred meters below, a city rising up around it, he silently thanked whatever greater power had heard his plea or if no one truly had, then he thanked his good luck at a quick and nearly painless end.

He closed his eyes and thought of how the pain would finally end. No one would miss him and that was the way he liked it. He could see Mother again. Could see her and tell her how sorry he was for everything he had done.

He smiled at the thought and braced himself and he felt his body relax, unafraid and unyielding to the fear.

He's falling.

* * *

Tony hated Doom and his stupid fucking Doombots that had woken him up at seven in the fucking morning.

It had been a peaceful slumber he'd been having before the Avengers alarms had started blaring. Slumped over his workbenches having passed out at roughly two thirty that morning as his coffee had run out and couldn't be bothered to get a refill.

He'd been working on another design project for Clint's arrows. The guy just seemed to love the exploding ones. But the work demand had gotten to him. It was slowly becoming too much for even Tony Stark to handle.

Not that he would admit that, of course.

However, Doom seemed to want to give the genius a headache and a near heart attack as alarms blared through the workshop, Tony head snapping up as he shouted and promptly fell back in his desk chair, sprawling across the floor.

Dum-E whirred, rolling over to his creator, lending a claw. Tony smiled, taking the offered assistance as got to his feet, brushing himself off. "Jarvis, turn that goddamn alarm off," he called and the alarm was abruptly cut off.

"The others are waiting for you in the conference room," Jarvis supplied.

Tony huffed, giving Dum-E a thankful smile he reserved for the usually incompetent robot before making his way to the elevator.

It took less than a minute to arrive in which the others were all waiting, assembled in their suits. They all turned to look at Tony as he entered. Tony's anxiety jumped at the five pairs of eyes on him but just put on his signature shit-eating grin as he sat down in the free chair beside Bruce, turning to look at Steve who stood patiently at the front of the group of heroes.

"Glad you could finally join us, Tony," Steve said with a tone that spoke of disapproval in regards to Tony's tardiness.

Tony heard this though, the unspoken message of disappointment and tried not to scowl. He knew that in Steve's eyes he would never be good enough. Never be worth Steve's approval. All because he wasn't his _Father_. And really, why the hell should he live up to Steve's expectations. Take him as he is or walk away in Tony's opinion.

But Tony let none of this show on his face as he grinned easily. "Aye aye, Captain."

Steve shook his head with a sigh which made Tony smirk. Clint quietly snickered, Natasha hitting his shoulder to make him shut up. Bruce had a wry smile on his face whereas Thor just looked very confused.

Steve turned away showing he decided not to start on Tony's immature behaviour and just get the mission over and done with so the pair could go back to avoiding each other. "Doom is causing mayhem in central park. His Doombots are attacking civilians and causing mass panic. We have to destroy all Doombots and minimize the panic of the people. Be careful that they are not in range of backfire. Capture Doom alive if you can. Fury wants him questioned."

"Ah, so it's Fury who is trying to ruin my Saturday?" Tony inquired, making Steve internally struggle not to say something he'd regret like he had on the helicarrier.

"Yes, if you must know. Fury was the one to call us out on this mission. That's our job as heroes," Steve explained with a pointed look at Tony which made the genius scowl.

It was no secret that most of the team didn't see Tony as a hero. He honestly couldn't care less what they thought. He was here, on this team because _they_ needed him, not the other way round. He was doing perfectly fine before they butted into his life and forced him to take part in this hero act. He wasn't a hero and really, he didn't mind that. It just meant that if he fucked up (which to Steve was apparently often though Tony disagreed) his defence was that he wasn't really hero material which was a point that not only Steve had made clear, but Fury and even Natasha had pointed out also.

But because he was rich and because he was a genius, Fury had come crawling back asking for his help when a crazy Norse god decided it would be fun to take over Earth. So Tony had helped them, been insulted by them, even nearly sacrificed himself for them. But still, he wasn't a hero in their eyes.

But Tony didn't care. He had bigger more pressing things to worry about than who liked him and who would rather eat dog shit then call him their friend. He had his machines, he had his mind. He didn't need anything else. It may be a lonely, cold life for him, but it was what he was used to, what he thought was a good life. No one opinion mattered but his own and didn't need to act the hero and pretend to be someone he wasn't.

But when he had to help them, he put back on the fake smiles, back on the forced laughs, back on the hero act that was the only thing the others knew was false. His only reassuring thought that got him through the day was being able to whole himself back up in his lab and avoid the others for either hours or days or even weeks before their next mission where they would be forced to see each other again.

Just like now.

"I gotta say though, what kind of villain attacks at seven in the morning? That's another whole level of evilness I don't even want to get into!" Tony said, ignoring the look Steve was giving him as he made fun of the whole ordeal.

Steve looked as if he wanted to bang his head against the walls of the room (that would be rather amusing to watch, Tony thought) but he only told them all to go suit up.

Tony sighed as he got up from his comfy chair. This was gonna be a long day, wasn't it?

* * *

So now here Tony was, once again fighting the bad who had ruined his already crappy sleep schedule, blasting the Doombots to smithereens, metal and whirs flying in all directions, scattering across the ground.

Steve's Shield flew past Tony, sinking deep in the head of one of the Doombots which keeled over and kept moving in jerking movements, sparking and convulsing. Steve marched over, ripping his shield out of the head. Tony blasted the bot behind Steve that the Captain hadn't noticed was coming towards him. Steve didn't thank Tony or even acknowledge him at all, going back off to fight.

Tony scowled. Stupid Steve.

Clint was shooting arrow after arrow from a high perch in one of the central park trees. Bruce was in green rage monster mode, tearing Doombots in half and roaring through the noise of metal tearing and people fighting. Natasha was ushering any stray civilians away from the fighting area so they didn't get hit by any misfire.

Tony took all of this in as he fought, checking it off on his list. Keep civilians away from the fight. Check. Attack Doombots from above where they wouldn't expect it. Check. Attack viciously and without mercy. Check. Blast any that got near his teammates. Check. See falling figure out the corner of his eye. Che—

Wait, what?!

Tony spun around, turning his head skyward as he watched a streak of green, gold and black fall like a stone towards Earth, gravity pulling them down at an alarming rate. They had less than a minute before they made impact with the hard and very solid ground.

Tony stood frozen long enough for a Doombot to grab the helmet of his suit, ripping it away from his head, exposing his shocked face. Tony shoved it away, holding up a hand and shot the Doombot a good six feet away. He powered up his repulses and shot up before the Doombot could recover.

His eyes were trained on the figure that had already made it halfway closer to the ground in Tony's momentary distraction. He could hear Steve's voice yelling in the com, telling him to come back to where the fighting was but he ignored it. "Jarvis, put every you've got into the thrusters."

Jarvis didn't respond, not needing to, but Tony felt a powering propel forward, speeding closer and closer to the falling figure that Tony made out to be a man. He gritted his teeth, urging himself forward as if he could make himself go faster with just willpower alone.

He reached out his arm and snagged the person's wrist, gripping it tight. He underestimated their weight however as he was caught in the fall and dragged down but he did manage to slow it considerably so it wasn't a total loss.

Tony grimaced as hit the ground. They tumbled over each other, Tony getting to his feet first as the shock hadn't overly hurt him all that much. Just a few bumps. He couldn't say the same for the other. He was encased in metal whereas they only wore green cloth and leather.

He rushed over to the still man, dropping down on his knees as he discarded his gauntlets and taking their hand, checking for a pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief when he found one. The guy could definitely take a hit. But how the hell did he manage to fall from the sky like that? Despite New York's reputation for buildings being close together they weren't all that close to any at the moment so he doubted the guy had jumped from one. Perhaps he fell out of a plane? Not likely, but far more likely than the guy just falling from the sky out of nowhere.

He checked the man over for any injuries. A few scratches and minor bruises that would heal on their own. The left wrist however didn't look so good. It was twisted at a weird angle that Tony identified as broken. He had a feeling it was his fault as he had grabbed that wrist to slow the falling momentum. It must have broken his wrist in the process. Oops, his bad.

Only when he scanned over the man's face did he realise what he was dealing with.

Pale skin, high cheekbones, thin lips, long raven colored hair, hot as all fucked. Well, if it wasn't the Avengers least favourite Norse god then Tony had to be losing his mind.

Loki gave a pained gasp as his eyes fluttered open. His eyes looked around before they finally found Tony's, golden brown meeting poisonous green. Loki whimpered, biting hard at his lip that it drew blood.

Tony swallowed. He had never seen a god, much less Loki, look so vulnerable before. "Hey, it's alright. You're okay. Not dead. Promise."

This only seemed to make things worse somehow as Loki gave a grief stricken whine of pain. Tony was about to say something else, something reassuring but didn't get the chance as Loki's eyes rolled up into his head, eyelids slipping shut again.

He heard hurried footsteps behind him and glanced over his shoulder to see his teammates coming over to see what the issue was.

"Tony, what happened? You just took off..." Steve trailed off when he saw who was lying unconscious on the ground. "Is that—?"

"Brother?" Thor asked, blue eyes going as wide as fifty cent pieces.

Loki didn't answer. It's a bit hard to do so when you're unconscious.

Tony sighed. "He can't hear you, buddy."

Thor looked troubled as he knelt down, sliding his arms gently under Loki and lifting him into his arms. "He needs medical treatment," he stated.

Clint chose now to speak up. "Um, are you nuts?! He's a murderer! He deserves any pain he gets. Hell, let's kill him while he's weak and save us the trouble."

Thor gave Clint a look that made the archer take a few steps away from the Thunder god. "My Brother needs treatment," he said more firmly.

Bruce, who had reverted back to his timid scientist form, nervously tapped his leg. "I want to help, Thor. But the other guy isn't exactly fond of your Brother. I'm not sure how much I could control him while in the same room as Loki. Even now..." he didn't finish though his eyes flickered away from Loki's body as if afraid of looking too long at a bright light.

Thor was looking rather desperate now making Tony internally groan as he stepped up. "I can help him, Thor. I'm not as good a Doctor as Brucey here but I'm sure I can fix some broken bones."

Steve gave Tony 'the look'. The look that said, 'what would your Father say if he could see you now?' Tony, like usual, ignored it though he silently seethed. If it was Bruce offering Thor assistance in helping his Brother it was completely fine but if it was Tony then it was like he had made world war three might break loose.

"Come on, Thor. We'll take him back to the Tower to the medical wing," Tony said in a false cheerful tone because he knew it would annoy Steve further.

Thor only nodded, holding Loki more protectively as Tony flew back to the Tower, Thor just behind him.

* * *

Tony led Thor to the infirmary and pointed to the free bed, telling him to lay Loki down there which Thor did with much more gentleness than Tony would have expected from the Thunder god and much more fuss than was probably needed but Tony said nothing until Thor was finally satisfied and moved away so Tony could work.

After an ex-ray scan Tony concluded the wrist was in fact only sprained. Lucky for him since they were much easier to treat. He fixed it up and bandaged it to hold it in place so it would heal properly. Thor sat worriedly in a chair, watching Tony work.

Finally Tony nodded, informing Thor that this was all he could do for now. He made an educated guess that the shock of the fall and the pain was what made Loki pass out. Everything else seemed in order and Jarvis reported no other injuries which Thor was relieved to hear.

"You should get some rest. You look as if you're about to drop," Tony said to the Thunder god. He wasn't lying either. Thor _did_ look tired. He wondered if Thor was getting as much sleep as Tony. Which was to say, barely fuck all.

Thor looked like he was about to protest but he hesitated a moment before reluctantly nodding. "I suppose I should. Will you watch over him for me?"

Tony couldn't resist Thor's puppy eyes and nodded, promising to watch Loki for signs of movement. Thor had left and Tony sat by Loki's bed, working on projects with a holographic screen from his phone.

It was roughly four in the morning when Loki stirred. He groaned, forcing his heavy eyelids open to look around the dimly lit room. He lay on a comfortable bed, sheets drawn over him. His wrist ached and when he looked down at it he saw it wrapped in bandages. He looked to his left, the only light in the room coming from beside him and saw Stark, the Ironman Avenger tapping away at some illusion tech, the arc under his shirt shining brighter than the holographic screen.

Loki licked his dry lips. He remembered submerging the darkness, meeting swirling golden brown eyes. Stark's eyes. He had intended to die, but a man he considered his enemy has saved him from death's cold embrace. He didn't know whether to be grateful or resentful. The latter perhaps.

He opened his mouth and croaked out. "W-water?"

It was a simple request but not one he expected to be granted. So when Stark had looked at him, seeing him awake, he expected mockery or something of the sort. He had not expected the warm smile sent his way, nor the mortal complying with his request, getting up and filling a cup at the nearby sink, walking back over and lifting the cup to Loki's lips, helping him drink as it was obvious Loki was too weak to do so.

"Not too much," Tony said, pulling the cup away from Loki's greedy mouth. "You'll be sick."

Loki knew he was right but he still eyed the cup as Stark set on the table by his bed. He forced his eyes away to look at Stark who went back to his illusion tech, tapping away at the thin screen.

"How did I get h-here?" Loki coughed a bit at the end, mentally cursing his weak body.

"You fell outta the sky. I caught you," Tony said simply.

"You caught me?" Loki repeated dumbfounded.

Tony nodded once not taking his eyes away from the screen.

Loki let that sink in for a few moments before asking his next question. "Why?"

Stark looked at him now. "To be fair, I didn't know it was you," he said before shrugging slightly. "But then again, even if I had, I still would have caught you."

"You would have?" Loki asked increadiously. Why would this mortal, his enemy, catch him even if he knew exactly who it was he was catching? Why not let him fall to his death?

Tony raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you going to repeat everything I say?"

Loki blushed crimson which confused him to no end. He never got flustered. Especially not by some mere mortal. "I just don't understand why you would do such a thing. We're enemies," he said in his own defense.

Tony smirked. "So, if I were falling to my death, you wouldn't catch me?"

Loki scowled at him, deciding that he would rather not answer that. "Did you stop to think that maybe I _wanted_ to fall to my death?"

At this, Tony frowned. "Wow. I knew you were a depressed kind of bastard but that's an all new low."

"Excuse me?" Loki hissed. Who did this mortal think he was, questioning his motives?

"Death is just the cowards way out," Stark said, waving a dismissive hand.

Loki glared daggers. "Are you calling me a coward?"

"Depends. Are you calling yourself suicidal?"

Loki looked like he was seconds away from punching Stark in the face. "I don't answer to you, mortal."

"My names Tony, not 'mortal' and as Thor put me in charge of your care it kind of makes it my business. So, yes, you do answer to me," Tony stated easily with a rather cocky grin.

Loki huffed, looking away as he wrapped his arms around himself, hugging his middle. Why did his life have to be so hard and complicated? All he wanted was a simple death with minimal pain. That's all he asked!

"Get some sleep, Loki," Tony told him. "It's late...or early, depending on how you look at it. Either way, you need sleep. So, sleep."

Loki had half the mind to argue back that he wasn't tired and that Stark couldn't order him around but he knew it was all lies. His eyes were already slipping shut from exhaustion.

He turned his back on Tony, curling up tightly under the blankets. He couldn't believe that Tony had caught him as he fell. Couldn't believe that even if Tony had known it was his, despite everything, he still would have caught Loki.

He slipped back into his slumber, his mind whirling.

* * *

The days of his stay at the Tower turned to weeks. His injured wrist healed easily but Thor, who didn't want Loki to leave his side again, had begged the Avengers to let him stay. Mostly Tony, who the Tower technically belonged to.

And why shouldn't he let Loki stay? The Tower was his. He could let whoever the hell he wanted to stay at his Tower. He was the one who allowed the Avengers to stay there to make it easier for missions. If they didn't like it, he wouldn't stop them from leaving.

Steve had scowled when Tony had happily accepted Loki to stay. Tony had only given him a sickeningly sweet smile before leading Loki to his new room which he had been staying in for the past few weeks he'd lived there.

He avoided the others as much as possible. It was no secret to him that they had no love for the god of Mischief. The calm side of the green beast didn't seem to mind him though they kept their distance from one another just in case it set the beast loose.

The female assassin seemed indifferent though the same couldn't be said for the archer. Whenever they were in one another's company, Barton would glare at the god until he went away but didn't dare do anything else in fear of Thor's wrath.

Steve had tolerated Loki, attempting to be kind towards him to an extent but Loki didn't like it. He didn't like fake people who pretended they cared. If it came down to life and death, he wanted the people who did care about him enough to have his back, not someone who would watch him bleed out with emotionless eyes.

The only one he could stand being in company with for more than a few hours was Stark. The genius was usually down in his lab, working on projects for either Shield or for his team. Loki didn't understand why it was clear his team thought very little of him. Loki didn't voice his opinion though. Tony was a smart man. He would have his reasons.

The first time Loki had been in Tony's lab, he thought it was a mess. Tools littered everywhere, machines bits scattered all over the floor, whirs dangling out of half complete mechanisms. But after a few more visits in which Tony didn't complain once about said visits, Loki watched Tony bustle about and found that Tony knew exactly where everything seemed to be despite the chaotic mess. It was an order system that only Stark understood.

Loki would sit on the couch, watching Tony work the first couple times he visited. Tony didn't seem fazed by Loki's presence, nor did he ever tell Loki to leave, so Loki kept coming back. He started bringing a book with him to read. It was never awkward, never tense. It was calm and relaxing. Sometimes Tony would ramble, talking of his projects to Loki or even his machines. Loki never minded, enjoying the mindless chatter sometimes. He felt as if he actually had a friend.

Tony had been the one to nurse Loki back to health even though Loki had told him that it was a shame he didn't dress up in a nurse's outfit to which Tony had replied that if Steve caught him in it he might faint. Loki liked that Stark didn't take insults to heart, could even fight back with his own that would have the two cracking up. It was nice for the both of them to smile without it feeling fake.

Then the day came that things started getting interesting. Loki was once again reading, Tony just finalizing a few touches to a new suit of armor when he chucked aside his wrench and sauntered over to where Loki sat and plopped down beside him with a sigh.

"Well, the repulser needs a bit of work, but it should be up and running soon enough I'm hoping," Tony said, rambling as he always did. "As soon as Jarvis gets the suit online and connects the headset inside to contact the others during missions then it'll be good to go. I'll obviously need to fix the plating on—mmph!"

Loki had discarded his book on the floor as he lunged forward at Stark, pressing his lips hard to the other man's. All he could think about was Tony's mouth moving and moving as he talked and talked.

He wanted to feel what it would be like to have those lips against his own.

Tony didn't hesitate on kissing back. Like there wasn't even a thought process on whether he should or not. He just did. There seemed to be no doubt in his mind that this was what he wanted from Loki. That alone is what drove Loki on to pull Stark to him, hungrily devouring his lips, plunging his tongue into the other man's mouth, tasting and exploring.

Tony moaned into the kiss, hands going to the hem of Loki's shirt and snaking under it. Loki gave a soft gasp as Tony pinch one of his nipples hard. Pleasure sparked through his whole being at the simple touch and a fierce possessiveness took over him.

He pushed Tony roughly onto his back, attacking his mouth with hot, wet kisses. Tony writhed underneath him, hands still roaming Loki's body. The genius' hands felt like fire against Loki's skin, heating his whole body. He hissed in pleasure before biting hard at Stark's neck. He heard Tony gasp as he licked the wound soothingly, moving onto his next victim of exposed clear flesh.

Once his assault on claiming every inch of Stark's throat was satisfactory, Loki waved a hand, green magic flowing from his palm and both their clothes vanished leaving them naked for each other's eyes to roam the others body. Tony grinned at the hard on Loki had when he spoke. "Handy trick that," he said in a slightly breathless way.

"There are many tricks I can do in bed, Stark," Loki remarked with a lustful gaze that had Tony moaning in want. He spread his legs invitingly for Loki who didn't pause in taking what was now rightfully his. Tony was his. Only his. No one else's. He would make sure they all knew exactly who Tony belonged to now.

He reached between Tony's legs, pushing two fingers up Tony's hole, his fingers magically slicked with lube. Tony moaned loudly, his head falling back to hit the couch cushion as Loki worked his fingers in and out, stretching him for what was to come.

"Come on, Lokes. Fuck me already," Tony demanded, bucking his hips to show his point.

Loki grinned at the billionaire, removing his fingers agonizingly slowly. "Since you asked so nicely, _Anthony_."

Tony's eyes went dark at the full use of his name, his gaze more lustful than a second ago as he put his hand on the back of Loki's neck, drawing him down for a searing hot kiss. He growled lowly against them. "Do me. Now!"

"As you command," Loki said. He moved back, only to move forward again, his length pressing against the ring of muscle of Tony's ass, the head of his cock slipping in.

Tony closed his eyes, feeling every inch of Loki being slowly pushed into him. It hurt but it felt too good. Just the perfect mix of pain and pleasure.

Loki kissed Tony hard as he rocked back before slamming in hard. Tony shouted, but his eyes remained closed and he made no move to stop Loki as his thrusts grew rougher, faster. Tony felt it all. The speed of it. The pounding against his ass, flesh hitting flesh. Loki's thick cock sliding in and out of him over and over again.

Loki kept readjusting himself until he heard a gasp from Tony's mouth followed by a drawn out moan. There.

Loki pounded into Tony hard, reveling in the pleasured screams that came from his Tony's mouth. The mouth that he claimed, swallowing up Tony's needy moans. He had to hold down Tony's hips as they bucked up trying to get more. Loki was so close already and from Tony's labored breathing he could tell the genius was close too.

All it took was to look at Tony's eyes which snapped open at a good thrust to his prostate. His pupils were blown wide with lust, his usual golden brown being eclipsed by the black pupils and it was enough to send Loki over the edge, screaming Tony's name as he came inside of Tony, who took it all, milking him dry before coming all over his stomach, Loki's name leaving his lips.

They panted hard, covered in sweat and Tony in his own semen. Loki pulled out of him, cum dripping out of Tony's hole. He collapsed beside Tony on the couch, his energy gone as he lay there catching his breath. He had never had that sensation, that feeling with another before, much less a mortal. The feeling of fire dancing over his skin from the other's touch. It was something he now strongly craved, not knowing how badly he needed it in his life until now.

Tony curled up into Loki's side, throwing an arm over Loki's bare chest. "Not bad, Reindeer Games."

Loki felt the corners of his mouth twitch up in an almost smile as he put his arm around Tony's waist, pulling his mortal closer. "Mine," he said before kissing Tony possessively to get his point across.

Tony smiled against his mouth. "Yours."

* * *

Six months later, this had now become a regular thing. Whether it be Tony needing a break from work or Loki escaping the dark thoughts of his mind, they knew that they could rely on each other to be there, willing and wanting of the other.

The others seemed to know something was going on between them. But no one said a word about it. So long as they weren't hurting anyone, what was the harm?

Only Steve seemed to have a problem with it. Of course he did. He claimed to just be looking out for Tony, that Loki was a villain and shouldn't be trusted. Tony only scoffed saying Steve knew nothing of their relationship and that he should mind his own business for a change. Steve wouldn't let it go and they had argued themselves into a shouting match until Clint and Natasha had to pull the two away from each other before they started a full on fight.

Tony had begged for Loki as soon as they reached the workshop, begging him to make him forget. And Loki had. He would always help his mortal because Tony was his and he'd do anything for him. He had taken Tony against the wall that day, taking Tony and enforcing the pleasure Tony needed to make his mind go blank and forget everything but Loki and the heat.

Tony was his.

* * *

It was just over a year later, after another round of chaste kisses and bites and sweaty bodies that Tony said something that made everything go downhill.

Tony was cuddled up to Loki's side. When they slept, he was always spooned by Loki, being shorter than the god so he was the little spoon. But he didn't mind. So long as he had Loki.

Loki ran his hand through the geniuses hair, something he learned had calmed the both of them. The feeling was soothing, fingers running through the hundreds even thousands of strands. Tony sighed softly, leaning up into it like a cat would making Loki smile. He always smiled when he was with Tony. Never fake, always real. Making his chest bloom with warmth like a flower blooming to life after the rough weather of winter.

Tony closed his eyes, feeling fingers against his scalp, soothing, calm and he found the words spilling from his mouth.

"I love you."

He was horrified, eyes opening as he sat up, turning to look at Loki who looked petrified back at Tony. Tony didn't exactly regret saying the words. He knew he meant them. He meant them so much that it seemed to physically hurt. But Loki was a god and he, a mortal. They wouldn't, couldn't work. He would die and Loki would move on, eventually. All this was just a faze in Loki's eyes. Just another mortal to play with until they expired.

But Tony had fallen. Had fallen in love with that dark man. That mysterious past of his. That handsome face and that perfect body. And those eyes. The pain, the lust and even what Tony would tell himself he had mistaken as love, in those mesmerizing green eyes. Whenever he looked into those eyes, whether to share a smile, or in the moment of heat and lust, or even when he found Loki shaking, scared and fearful in the night after a nightmare, Tony murmuring soft words, Tony knew. He knew...

...he's falling.

But those words had been a mistake. Something he couldn't take back. He meant them, but he knew that Loki didn't feel the same. They had their fun together but that's all it was. Fun and games. At the end of the day, Tony would still be mortal and Loki would still be a god. Tony would grow old and die. Loki would live forever and one day, forget Tony ever existed at all.

"Loki, I—"

Loki shook his head mutely. He couldn't speak. No one, in his entire life, in his whole memory had said that they loved him. The only person who had was his mother. His sweet, kind, caring mother who he heartlessly murdered. Maybe not by his hand, but because he had told that monster where to go and his mother had been in the creature's path.

No, he couldn't say it back. He wanted to. So badly. It was only four little words. 'I love you too'. But he couldn't bring the words to his lips, couldn't form the sound he needed to say them. Because he knew now that anyone close to him, anyone he cared about, anyone he loved, perished.

And he loved Anthony. He loved him more than words could ever describe. Not even his silvertongue could explain how deep his love for Tony was.

But that was exactly why he couldn't say it. He couldn't allow Tony to be hurt, especially from his actions, by his hand, like his mother had. It was a different love he held for them both, but still the same result of not wanting to hurt them, wanting them to be safe. He had already failed one.

He would not fail the other.

Tony stared at him, golden brown eyes wide, fearful, waiting for Loki to speak. All Loki knew is the words he was about to say would break Tony's heart.

"Anthony, I'm sorry. I don't—"

Loki didn't finish. Just the first three words were enough to confirm Tony's fears.

Loki didn't feel the same way.

He didn't know why it hurt him so bad. It was only Loki. It was only the one person who had accepted him. The only one who had joined in on the playful banter. The only one he felt alive with. The only one who could make him feel the burning sensation inside.

The one of millions who didn't love him.

Tony didn't stay to listen to whatever apology Loki had. He couldn't stay there. He would break apart if he did. He didn't want Loki to see him falling to pieces. It would only amuse the god for sure. The poor human pet crying pitifully because his master didn't see him as anything but a plaything.

Loki didn't stop him from leaving. He watched as the one person who loved him walked away. It was better this way. It would hurt for a little while for them both. But Tony wouldn't be hurt by Loki's hand. Not permanently. He would move on eventually. Find another while Loki lived life alone. He could face it though, so long as Tony was happy and alive.

He sobbed himself to sleep that night.

* * *

The next morning Loki was woken by Thor looking frantic and panicked, telling Loki to get up now. Loki had grumbled and complained until Thor had mentioned Tony's name. Tony. His Tony.

Loki was up in an instant, demanding Thor of what had happened. Thor had raced away, Loki sprinting to keep up. Thor went out of the building where a crowd was gathered, staring up at the top of the Tower.

Loki, though worried about Tony, couldn't help but turn his head up to see what they were looking at.

His heart fell.

Tony. Tony was there. Standing on the building's edge. The mortals would only see a pinprick of the man but Loki could see him clearly. Wind whipping Tony's hair into a mess, fists clenched, jaw set and tears pooled in those golden brown eyes.

"No," Loki breathed.

He thought, had he not said the words back, Tony would be safe. Safe from him. Safe from the hurt and pain Loki brought upon the ones he loved.

He had never thought about Tony being safe from himself.

Tony's foot was over the ledge, hovering in the air and Loki's heart clawed into his throat. He screamed, "Anthony, no!" just as the genius tumbled forward.

The crowd backed up at the figure fell, gasps and screams being heard, but none rushing forward to catch the falling man.

None except Loki.

He ran forward, not caring if anyone recognized him, not caring that it was probably pointless or that he might be crushed. He didn't care because he loved Tony too much to just watch him fall to his death.

Tony had caught him.

Now Loki would do the same.

He held out his arms and watched as Tony fell towards him, eyes never leaving his Tony. Only one thing processed in his mind as Tony plummeted to him.

He's falling.

* * *

Loki never left Tony's side. No matter how much Thor tried to convince him to, he wouldn't leave Tony alone.

He always got a sense of deja vu whenever he looked around the infirmary room. So he focused on the hand he had in Tony's cold one, the machines beeping and buzzing around him. He would remember the time that he was the one who was lying in the infirmary bed, sleeping peacefully with the knowledge that Tony was watching over him until the next time he woke.

But at least he _could_ wake.

They had told him repeatedly that Tony wouldn't wake. He refused to believe that. They had told him that Tony was brain dead. He refused to believe that also. They said that the kindest thing to do was to turn off Tony's life support and let him be buried. Loki wouldn't let them. They had tried to make him leave Tony's bedside. Loki would bristle whenever they tried to.

He had been there for almost three weeks now. Constantly by Tony's side, barely eating, never sleeping. He was on the brink of collapse. He'd cried more times than he could count. Because he knew this was his fault.

If he had just said to Tony, told him how he really felt, then this would not have happened. Tony would be okay, cuddled up in bed with him, smirking that charming smirk of his, laughing at something Loki did, lustful eyes staring up at him. He wouldn't be here, in a coma from which he wouldn't wake from. Not here, slowly dying, slowly wasting away. Not here growing colder and paler and the days stretched on.

The flower in his chest had shriveled and died. The cold he had been used to crept back into his body, killing the flower and everything it stood for. The cold he was used to was now used to it no longer. He couldn't go back to the cold and fear. But yet, it was here. Making his shiver and shake.

He hadn't been good enough. He had caught Tony, but the weight and momentum had pushed him down with him and the back of Tony's head cracked against the hard ground. He could still hear the sickening sound of it, the blood that pooled around Tony's head, Loki's hands sticky with his blood as he tried to stop the flow of blood, screaming for someone to do something, anything, sobbing and cradling Tony to his chest. That golden brown eyes had focused on his one last time, meeting green. Then they had slipped shut and hadn't opened since.

He had suffered internal bleeding on the brain, swells and all sorts of things that made Loki want to scream at himself. Brain dead. The two words were like hot knives being driven into his skin.

Loki wished it had been him. Him who was lying in the bed unresponsive to sound or voice. To touch or anything familiar. But then Tony would be the one here, the one holding onto his hand as if he could squeeze life back into him. But no. He couldn't.

He watched his magic flow from his hand into Tony, healing what was broken. But he knew no matter what he healed, the brain was dead. He couldn't fix that. He couldn't bring him back. But he'd be damned if he let those bastards pull the plug on Tony. They may not have cared for him but Loki did. He still does. He still had hope that he'd see those golden brown eyes open again and that signature shit-eating grin light his face.

Sometimes he fooled himself into thinking he saw Anthony's hand move. But he knew, deep down, it was all in his head. Deep down, he knew, Tony was gone. Gone for good.

Dying thinking that Loki didn't love him.

He leaned down, over what some would call the dead body of Tony Stark and pressed his lips softly to the cold ones of his lover, his life, his everything. The heat that had once been so powerful between them was gone. Died along with Tony. His Tony.

He drew back slightly, tears slipping down hotly on his cheeks, his breath feather light against Tony's lips as he whispered the words that could have saved his lover.

"I love you too."

As he stared at Tony Stark, breathing softly in his sleep, Loki realised that since the void, he truly never had stopped falling. Since the moment his eyes had opened, pain wracking his body to meet those swirling golden brown eyes he had still been falling. Falling slowly. Falling hard. Falling in love. And he feels it now...

...he's falling.

The end

**Author's Note:**

> ✒I. Am. So. Sorry.✒


End file.
